9:31 AM

How to Make People Like You?

Assalamualaikum.. Hi all.. How r u? I'm doin' great this couple of days.. The project I'm involved which is with Ethylene & Polyethylene is almost over.. We did UAT (User Acceptance Test) last Tuesday and it went ok.. But it looks like i have to go to Kerteh again to train them.. I like going there especially if i got to stay at Awana resort.. But it's too quiet.. I'll go crazy if i had to work there forever.. Hehehe..

Today, i want to post something about "How to Make People Like You".. I used to have a BIG problem on this.. I remember when i was doing my diploma, people said that i'm so NOT approachable.. that i'm not friendly and i'm very arrogant.. The thing is, back then, i don't really like to smile.. and i only talk to people i know.. and i had no intentions to be likeable.. I'm like.. This is me, if you don't like it, do i look like i care?.. (poyo x? Haha..)

But as you get mature, learned from your experiences..., making people like you is very important.. It IS important for many reasons.. As for career perspective, to get promoted, to get a good review, to asks for opinion and to be able to approach anyone for help.. Personally, you become more confident, you have many friends, people will want to know you and more importantly, you feel good about yourself.. I found a few articles that you can read on ways to make people like you..

  • As for the first time meeting, it is important to 'look' like a friendly and attractive person - and this does not mean you have to have 'film star' looks or 'cat-walk' clothes! What it does mean, however, is that you need to look open, honest, friendly, outgoing and 'as if you care' about your appearance.
  • You also need to be aware that you do not look as if you are wrapped up in yourself, or distracted in some way. When meeting a new person it is vital that you show you are interested in them.
  • This means making appropriate physical contact in an appropriate and positive way, maybe this will mean shaking hands or even possibly greeting people in a slightly more 'intimate' way. But you need to appear confident and positive in all these things in order to start the process of conveying likeableness in the right way
  • It is really important to make direct eye-to-eye contact with someone when you are introduced - which means looking at them in a straight and 'real' way, right into their eyes - accompanied by a warm and genuine smile. If you are lacking in confidence, and do not normally find yourself as a naturally 'smiley' person you need to make some serious effort in this area - whilst making sure that you do not give an impression of falseness, or 'overdoing' it as this will likely have the opposite effect to that you desire.
  • The next 'big thing' that will influence people is when you start to speak. You need to have a lively and pleasant tone to your voice. Sadly some folks develop a monotonous, or dull sound to their voice. Maybe they talk in a squeaky or affected way. In this matter you need to be truly self-critical and, if you feel you are lacking, you need to make an effort to develop better speaking-voice qualities. It can be done - actors and actresses do it for a living, and once you develop confidence in yourself and the way you sound many of the other attributes of 'likeableness' will fall into place.
  • If you have managed to make the right first visual and aural impression on a new person you are already well on the way to being 'instantly likeable'. The rest will depend on how your first conversation goes. The key to this is to remember that people 'like' to be asked about themselves, their lives, their likes and dislikes - in other words THEY like to feel the center of attention. They DO NOT like having to listen to the tales of the 'great I am', nor do they like to have the conversation monopolized so they cannot get a word in.
  • If you can strike a good balance (minimum 60% to 40% in their favor maximum about 80/20) when it comes to who is doing the most talking, this will go a long way to making you 'instantly likeable' most people like a 'good listener'.
  • One of the biggest tips for being liked is to try to develop a natural, warm friendly smile that you use liberally. People like 'happy people' who are fun to be with. Time and again both men and women agree that they are most attracted to people who can make them laugh (BUT don't get carried away and feel you need to learn the contents of a 'joke book' - the laughter needs to be natural and light to work best!)
  • Focus on the other! Always make sure you are focusing on the person you are with and making them feel the center of your attention - create a virtual 'bubble' of attention around them - including being aware of any indication that they may be uncomfortable for any reason and trying to deal with it (this could range from causes such as touching on 'awkward' topics of conversation to steer away from, to them sitting in a draught!) When this happens naturally do what is necessary to defuse their discomfort.
  • Remember that you need to keep your posture open and friendly at all times. For instance, folding your arms whilst talking is a 'no no' because it creates a psychological barrier'. But holding a persons gaze whilst they talk, and showing you are listening intently through nods and sounds of agreement as appropriate are really important ‘signs’ that you are truly focussed on them.
  • Make sure you look good, people don't want to be friends with weird badly dressed, bad smelling, or just plain dumb people.
  • Generally speaking, most of us already have good humor. We laugh with our friends. Simply, use it more, even look for ways to use it more. Tell a joke, however badly then laugh at yourself, if it is THAT bad.The world is serious enough without all of us contributing even more. I choose to like people who are of good humor.
  • I believe people like being valued and a well placed compliment shows them that you value them. Other compliment-rich areas include: anything about their kids, their thoughtfulness, their thinking process, their departments, teams, company, their skills, even their voice.
  • We have known people who apparently listen but have that what-I-am-doing-here vacant look in their eyes. By training yourself to listen, and acknowledge and then add value you will be a better listener than 90% of all adults. By listening better, even if you don’t get to say too much in a one-sided conversation, people will think you are quite smart for taking such an active interest in what they are saying.
  • People who are willing to do new things, consider others’ viewpoints, or learn some new skill are generally more interesting and likeable. There are some people who won’t try a new restaurant or a new food or a new type of entertainment. We are all different, sure. I don’t like opera music on the radio. But if someone invited me to attend a local opera, I would go. Ok, I might not. We all have likes and dislikes. But the more you are willing to accept change and are viewed as flexible and adaptable, you will be obviously more likeable.
  • Use open body language. Uncover your heart by leaving your jacket or coat unbuttoned and facing the other person.
  • Be first with eye contact. Look the other person straight in the eye.
  • Beam a smile.
  • Be the first to identify yourself with a pleasant, “Hi! I’m Nick.”
  • Lean subtly toward the other person to show your interest and openness
Well, i guess that's all for now.. Hope you enjoy my posts!

Thanks to the source!
Source 1
Source 2
Source 3

3:34 PM

My Fave Male Celebrity - Ever

Guys (Color)

I'm multitasking today.. Doing my programming as well as updating blog.. Today i want to post my favorite favorite male celebrity and when i started to like them.. In order..
  1. Brad Pitt - I started to like him since i was 13 when i saw him in a magazine cover with Gwyneth.. He's my No. #1!
  2. Keanu Reeves - After The Matrix, need i to explain more?
  3. Milo Ventimiglia - I think it's when i was 20.. I started to like him when he appear in The Gilmore Girls as Jess.. My Hero..
  4. Jensen Ackles - I like him in Smallville.. I like him more in Supernatural..
  5. James Marsden - It was when i saw him in Ally McBeal when i was 20.. Then, he appear as Cyclops in X-Men.. hottie!
  6. Nick Carter - Aahh.. he used to be every girl dreams.. The cutest Backstreet Boys.. The first time i saw him in As Long As You Love Me video clips back in 1997.. It's like love at first sight..
  7. Nicky Byrne - I wish i had a boyfriend who look like him.. Back when i saw "Swear It Again" video clips..
  8. Daniel Radcliffe - My dear Harry Potter has grown to be a handsome young man.. Love him since the first movie.
  9. Jonathan Knight - Can u believe i had a crush since i was like 6-7 years old? He's a member of New Kids on the Block..
I made a few mistakes in numbering them in the pix.. Sorry!

3:50 PM

Train Your Eyes to See Color

Focus Color
There are many reasons why we don’t always get what we want. One of these reasons is because we focus on the opposite of what we want. Sometimes, we just can’t help it. But, if we are conscious of our thoughts, we can intercept these thoughts and shift our frame of mind towards our desired goals.

Have you ever been particularly annoyed by a person or situation? The more we complain about it, the more we notice it. The more we notice it, the worse it becomes. The next time we interact with that person or situation, we almost expect to be annoyed and thus subconsciously look for those small triggers that’ll make us annoyed.

In a similar example of an opposite scenario: Have you ever shopped for a particular kind of car which you’ve never noticed before? For example, a black SmartCar or a silver Toyota Prius. And suddenly, you see them everywhere? Similarly, have you shopped for a particular piece of clothing, let’s say a blazer style jacket for the spring, and suddenly you notice them everywhere?

Whether we focus on things we want or do not want, the truth is that What we focus on expands.

From my experience, dreams do come true, for the sole reason that the more you focus on something, the more of it you’ll notice and you’ll be particularly sensitive to opportunities that’ll come your way which will allow your dreams to become your reality.

Try It For Yourself! A Simple Exercise

Not convinced of what I’m saying? That’s cool. I still like you. :) But before you throw your hands up, try this simple yet powerful exercise. It’s so simple, you could do it anywhere.

  1. Next time you are walking or driving somewhere, or sitting on the bus or a car. Remember to do this.
  2. Pick a color and focus on it. Look for that color in your field of vision as you’re moving about. For example, focus on the color red.
  3. Do this for several minutes. Do you notice this color in so many places?
  4. Pick another color and focus on it. Forget about the first color, just focus on the second. For example, try the color green.
  5. Continue for several minutes. Scan your surroundings. Do you suddenly notice your second color popping up everywhere?
  6. Repeat several times using different colors each time.

Pretty cool huh? As simple or as silly this may sound, it’s a powerful exercise that I like to play around with. Each time we shift our focus on a new color, it feels like a shift in vision, or putting on special glasses that only filters this color.

I first learned about this cute technique from my mother. We were in the car and I was particularly annoyed about something and I started acting like an unreasonable child. She used this exercise to remind me that focusing on thoughts of frustration will only makes our frustrations stronger. I was deeply touched by the experience. I learned that we can proactively shift our thoughts by shifting our focus. A shift in our thoughts will shift our emotions, almost instantly.

Practices in Real Life

So, how can I put this into practice? Great question! There are many situations where you can benefit by putting your power of focus into practice. The following are some practical suggestions.

  • Annoying People - It’s inevitable that we will interact with people who frustrate us. Instead of focusing on why they are frustrating us or the feelings of frustration, focus on things we admire about them. It might take some practice, but start it the next time you are in their presence. Look for things you like about them and what you admire about them. Perhaps they have nice shoes, or a nice smile, or their work ethic is admirable. Focus on that and look for more to focus on.
  • Frustrating Situations - When situations do not favor our expectations, it can be super frustrating. But, the more we think about how annoyed we are, the more red-eyed and anger-consumed we become, which is not helping the situation or your health. Focus on the positives of a situation. Make an effort to pick them out. I know this can be tough to do, but just start. Look for things that you learned or enjoyed about the situation.
  • Feeling Sick - When we don’t feel physically well, do you notice that we like to tell ourselves that we’re not feeling well? We like to tell anyone at any opportunity that “I’m sick”. While you are entitled to saying anything you like, what will actually help you get better is by focusing on being healthy. Enjoy this time as your body rests and recovers. Focus on the image of you in perfect health.
  • ‘I Hate My Job’ - I’ve heard of this from many others and have repeated it myself when the moments get rough. The result is always the same: as I find more reasons to dislike my job, I feel even more discontent. In these moments, I have a tendency to forget just how lucky and privileged I am to have such a job. My focus on the pain puts into a negative downward spiral.

    Start to pick out and focus on things you enjoy about your job and all the wonderful opportunities you are afforded through it. Create a list of personal benefits from your job, and then focus on each point. For example: financial security, time flexibility, creative expression, feeling of empowerment when completing a project, inspirational co-workers, learning opportunities, chances to help others, health insurance, stock options, etc.

  • Jealousy of Other People - When we judge other people as better off than we are, it becomes easy to get caught up in feelings of jealousy, which are self-destructive. Instead of focusing on why others are undeserving, choose to understand what makes them deserving. Highlight what they’ve done well and reasons why they have been successful. Now use these insights as a source of inspiration to help yourself excel.
  • Stuck at the Airport, Missing a Flight or Losing Your Luggage - Most problems with traveling are frustrating experiences, especially when leaving home already puts us outside of our comfort zone. Focusing on how frustrating it is will only make us feel worse, and only for yourself. Focus on qualities that are empowering about the experience. How can you make the experience a positive one? For example, you can perhaps focus on:
    • “I have an extra few hours to catch up on reading.”
    • This has become a really great opportunity to meet a new friend.
    • “At least I’m still alive. I’m breathing and all. The flight delay is to ensure my safety and I am thankful for that.”
    • “Yes, delaying my luggage is inconvenient, but at least they’ll deliver it for free and I don’t have to wait at the airport for them.”
  • ‘I don’t have enough time for…” - Have you heard of yourself start a sentence like this? And then waste time on unproductive tasks like browsing the web, chatting with a friend, writing verbose emails, channel surfing on the TV. I’ve been there! You and I both know it is an excuse to avoid doing something we don’t want to do. (*wink*) If something was important enough, we can create time to make it happen. Instead of saying “I don’t have enough time for X” and then brushing it off, practice saying “How can I create time to do X?”, “How can I make this a reality? How can I free some time from my schedule?”.
  • Fear of Failure - The more we focus on the object of our fear, the more powerful the feeling is. Life rarely turns out as bad as we anticipate. Focusing on the worst possible outcome is extremely stressful. Whether it’s asking someone out on a date, or giving a presentation to an audience, it does not help to tell yourself that “I’m afraid I’m going to fail” or “What if I’ll look stupid? I might as well not try.” Instead, focus on what it is that you do want. Focus, by repeating what you want in a present tense statement. Example, “I am confident and knowledgeable about this topic and I can give a kick ass presentation. It’s a breeze!”

Similarly, see if you can apply the same principle to these situations:

  • Losing Weight
  • Losing Money
  • Getting a Date
  • Waiting on a phone line for an operator

I hope this simple skill of focus will add to your emotional mastery tool box and help you for many years to come. Please share your experiences with us when you have a chance.


9:52 AM

Welcome to the year 2008!

Assalamulalaikum.. Happy new year everyone! How r u guys doin? Did you celebrate anywhere? Me and few of my friends, Darsi, Dila, Epi and Azmil celebrate at KLCC until 11 p.m. We would like to stay until 12 a.m. but it's too crowded and it's raining a bit.. I can't write much because i have lots of work to do.. So this year i have a few target that i would like to achieve and hopefully i will ;)
  1. Involved in projects using Php, .Net and Java
  2. Received more than 110% for performance utilization
  3. Exceed Expectations or at least Meet Expectation 1 for all projects I'm involved
  4. Make more friends from both iPerintis and Petronas
  5. Become independent and stop relying on someone else.
  6. Lose weight until i reached 45-47 kg.
  7. Get my teeth fixed (filling, scaling and whiten)
  8. Have more clothes, shoes and handbag.. Hehe..
  9. If possible, I would love to have a new car
  10. & If possible, have my own house in KL near KLCC
Apart from all that, here are my Top 10 movies that i would like to see in 2008 :
  1. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
  2. The Dark Knight
  3. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
  4. Iron Man
  5. Madagascar: The Crate Escape
  6. Curious Case of Benjamin Button
  7. The Changeling
  8. Wanted
  9. James Bond 22
  10. 21
Well.. I guess that's all for now. My project manager is checking my progress every minute now. So annoying!.. Later.