Computer Jokes (Part 1)

Hey there! Mornin'. Let's start our day today with some computer jokes that i'm across and find it pretty hilarious..

Jokes #1 (allthejokes.com)
This customer comes into the computer store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging."

"Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Windows 98?"

Jokes #2 (allthejokes.com)
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Jokes #3 (allthejokes.com)
Q: What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98?
A: 3 years

Jokes #4 (allthejokes.com)
Computers manufacturer is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

Jokes #5 (allthejokes.com)
Customer: "It says I've performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Have I done something wrong?"

Jokes #6 (allthejokes.com)
"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you."

Studying the machine, the senior VP said, "Fine, I'll take two."

Jokes #7 (worldjokescollection.com)
TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you?
CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking?
TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking.
CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that?
TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank.
CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out?
TECH: I'm not sure I understand?
CUSTOMER: You know...Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?

Jokes #8 (angelfire.com)
ISDN : It Still Does Nothing
DOS : Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS : Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2 : Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP : Plug and Pray
APPLE : Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM : I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT : Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
LISP : Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH : Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

Jokes #9 (angelfire.com)
A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?" Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman." "Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?" Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was aghast and went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy's dad said, "I'm actually a system programmer specializing in TCP/IP communication protocol on UNIX systems. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

Jokes #10 (angelfire.com)
A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."

The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east."

The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits."

The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs and let them ask sensible changes"

Genie : "Uh, let me see that map again."

-End Jokes (Part 1)-

Haha!.. Hope u enjoyed them. That's all for now.. I'll be posting more computer jokes soon.